do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
