yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
