you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize