And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
