yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
