Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
