I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
