he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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