i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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