I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Will exercising make me less horny?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
