we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
