my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
