Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
