singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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