He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize