we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
