The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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