Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Panties = found
Randomize
