oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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