Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
