After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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