I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
