Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
