shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
These tits shall not be calmed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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