We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
