My hand turned me down
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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