FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
