how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
