Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
