the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
