I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
