sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize