So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
