No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
