sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
