New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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