it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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