Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
