The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
