I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
