Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
