hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize