I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize