My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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