I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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