Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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