Already got asked if we're dating
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
