Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So much rum. So many feels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize