i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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