If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
