Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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