So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
