she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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