I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
