White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im calling her cock vulture from now on
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
