So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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