Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
