guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
