she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
wow bdsm is so cute
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
